Spamtastic…

22 09 2008

Spam

I decided I needed to rebuild my strength after my death.  I needed top quality sustenance.  Tip top loveliness.  Something super splendid…

Nope… actually super splendid isn’t enough… 

Something meaty.  Initially I was thinking pork, then I had a moment of deliberation where I thought… no wait… ham…

But then, miraculously, I thought, what if somehow I could mix the joyous splendour of ham… with pork? 

This could work… I could be onto something…

I needed to apply my marketing skillz.

Need a catchy name.

Hork?

Pham?

Hark?

Amrk… that one needs some work…

Hamork… maybe.

Porkam… but was slightly worried about the connotations of that one.

Then Matron said What about Sperm?

 

No, I said.

 

No.

 

Silly Matron.

 

No.

 

But the seed of ‘S’ lodged in my 30% of brain and I had an ephifony…

Spork!

I rallied the minions and we produced 1,337,00 tins of Spork.  We were euphoric in our plans.  With a profit margin of -7p per tin we were well on our way to global domination. 

I bought a gold plated Sedgway in anticipation of the riches to come.

 

But they didn’t come.

 

Some other foo had had the same idea.  But he’d called it “Spam”. 

How stupid is that?

I feel weak.

How will I regain my life eccence after my death…

*sobs*

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